Howard

Hi!  My name is Howard.  I’m a pit bull.  I think I am about six months old.  This shelter has been my home for most of my life and I am getting worried.  This is not a “no-kill” shelter.

Maybe this man will adopt me.  He has taken me for a walk and is talking with one of the staff members.

Yes!  He has signed all of the papers and is coming to me with a good strong leash in his hand.  Whew!

“Okay, Dog, let’s go home.”

Dog??  My name is Howard, not Dog!  How can I tell him my name is Howard and not Dog?  I don’t have the physical equipment to talk.  Oh well, I guess Dog will do.  It’s a lot better than Spot or Fido.

Oh, boy!  This is a big house with a big back lawn.  I will really enjoy running around instead of being cooped up in a kennel all of the time.

Oops!  Here is a big black cat.  He is acting like he owns the place.

Hi!  I’m Howard but the man calls me Dog.  I’ll bet they call you Cat.

“No, Felix.”

That’s almost the same thing, but it’s better than Kitty or Pussy.

Okay, let’s get down to basics.  I understand that you are not used to sharing your space.  But I am here now and I don’t want any trouble.  I just got out of what amounts to jail.  So I’ll try to stay out of your way.  Since you seem to prefer indoors I’ll just stay outside, mostly.  Okay?

“Yeah, but just stay out of my way”

So far, so good.  I’ve had a couple of weeks with lots of exercise.  No big trouble with Felix.

What’s that squawking I hear?  For heaven’s sake, they’ve brought home a parrot! That’ll not sit well with Felix!  Let me check it out.

Hey, Felix, what’s with all the noise?

“That noisy parrot, Maggie, will not shut up!  She’s driving me up the wall.”

Is she here permanently?

“Not if I can get to her!”

Let me see what I can do.

Maggie, I’m Howard.  Do you suppose you can give it a rest for a while?  Your squawking is getting to Felix.

“Why should I?”

Let’s see.  Felix can’t get to you in your cage on its stand.  But I can easily knock over the stand and then Felix could get to you.  And you know what cats do to birds, even tough old parrots.

“Gulp.  Since you put it that way I guess I could be quiet for a while.”

Good.  It doesn’t mean you can’t ever make noise.  That’s what parrots do.  Just don’t keep it up all the time.

“Okay.”

It’s been a couple of weeks and things seem to be calm.

Hey, Felix and Maggie, how are things?

“Since we had that discussion things are very peaceful.  Felix has stopped threatening to eat me.  Thank you.”

“Yes, Maggie and I have become friends, sort of.  She even sings a song I like from time to time.”

Hmm.  I wonder.  Maggie, do you think you can do something for me?

“If I can, sure.  What is it?”

Well you have learned to talk people talk.   Felix and I can’t do that.  Do you think you can tell the man that my name is Howard, not Dog?

“I’m not good at grammar and whole sentences but I can try.  How about ‘Howard, not Dog.’”

That should do it.  You’ll probably have to repeat it several times.

Wow, I sure underestimated how many times Maggie would have to try to get the message across.  I’ll bet it took a couple hundred tries over the past three weeks before the man addressed me as Howard.

Thank you, Maggie.  You have made me very happy!

Robert Niel Beatie – April 22, 2013