A Day in the Life of Curtis, the Desert Tortoise

Hi!  My name is Curtis.  I am a desert tortoise.  You know, one of the endangered species.  I think that I am between forty and fifty years old.  Tortoises do not have calendars and do not celebrate birthdays so I am not sure.  Anyway I have been around a while.

I have had a busy day.  This morning I awoke with a grumbling tummy.  I was hungry and needed to get something to eat.  So I set out for my favorite breakfast place.  About half way there I encountered a pesky coyote.  He was determined to eat me.  I retreated into my shell so that as he tumbled me about he could not get to me.  Finally he left, discouraged, leaving me on my back.  Let me tell you it is a real pain in the neck for a tortoise to get off his back and onto his feet!

At last I arrived at the batch of dandelions along the stream.  Dandelions are great for breakfast.

Having satisfied my grumbling tummy I set off for my mid-day nap spot.  It’s a small burrow where I can catch my forty winks, out of the hot desert sun.  Alas, as I approached, there was Bridget, waiting for me.  Bridget is a young cotton tail rabbit who says she is in love with me.  I tell her that I am a tortoise and she is a rabbit and I am much, much older than she.  Yet she persists.

Anyway I managed to back into the burrow and retreat into my shell for my nap.  (Maybe I’m much older than fifty.  I always need my daily nap.)

I awoke just in time to see Bridget take off with Harry, the jack rabbit.  He’s been after her for some time.  Maybe she will forget about me.  But she is kind of cute.

On my way to round up some tidbits for my evening meal the local road runner hopped up.  He challenged me to a race.  I’m not sure why he is so persistent.  I beat him the last four times we raced.  He is not as persistent with his racing as he is with his challenging.  I declined and suggested that he go catch a young rattlesnake for his dinner.  A suggestion he took to heart immediately.

I then harvested a couple of fresh sprigs of sage to season my dinner and was back at the stream.  Not for dandelions this time.  Dandelions are for breakfast.  No, the lush green grass and broad-leaved plants are what I like for dinner.

So, with a full tummy I am back to my private place, under the rock pile by the old saguaro cactus.  It’s a very safe place where none of the wild creatures around here can get to me.

Robert Niel Beatie – April 4, 2013