Morals and Truisms

Look before you leap

You can’t tell a book by its cover

Engage brain before engaging mouth

Let sleeping dogs lie

If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again

A penny saved is a penny earned

A stitch in time saves nine

When in Rome, do as the Romans

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

All work and no play makes Jack and plenty of it

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch

A pint’s a pound the world around

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Calling a dog’s hind leg his tail does not make it so

Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one

You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts

Chickens?

Jack, of beanstalk fame, was faced with a dilemma.  A dozen eggs was all he had to feed his new family.  He headed off to town with his eggs to try to trade for a week’s worth of food.  His first stop was at the grocers.

          “I have a dozen eggs that are about to hatch.  I want to trade them for food for my family.  There will be a dozen chickens that should grow up and you can sell for a profit.”

          The grocer responded: “No, I have no way to care for chickens growing up.  I am sorry.”

          Next Jack stopped at the farmer’s.  “I have a dozen eggs that are about to hatch.  I want to trade them for food for my family.  There will be a dozen chickens that should grow up and you can sell for a profit.”

          “I am sorry, Jack, but I have more chickens than I can sell already” replied the farmer.

          Out of desperation Jack stopped by the Giant’s house.  While they had not become friends, at least they had become polite neighbors.  “I have a dozen eggs that are about to hatch.  I want to trade them for food for my family.  There will be a dozen chickens that should grow up and you can sell for a profit.”

          After some thought the giant agreed to trade a bushel of beans and a bushel of corn for Jack’s dozen eggs.

          Jack returned home with food for his family, happy that he had mended fences with the Giant.

          The next day the eggs hatched:  three chickens, three ducks, three geese, and three pheasants.  The giant was very happy that he had mended fences with Jack and with his bargain.

Robert Niel Beatie – November 14, 2012