How I Found My Spirituality

Facing this homework assignment I had first to address the question “What is Spirituality?”

          Is it a belief in a higher power?

          Is it good thoughts?

          Is it good deeds?

          Is it inner peace?

For me the belief in a higher power is religion and not spirituality.  Good thoughts and good deeds are not spirituality, but rather the natural response to spirituality or, perhaps, the dictates of some religion.  My idea of spirituality is a fuzzy something akin to inner peace.

Religious belief does not equal spirituality.  Religious beliefs may lead to spirituality.  It may follow from spirituality.

My lifetime experiences may have laid the groundwork for my spirituality.  Although my parents were Episcopalians, until I was nine years old they were paid choir members of the Presbyterian Church in Riverside.  I attended the Presbyterian Sunday school.  Upon moving to Petaluma I was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church.  Later in high school I joined my parents in St. Mark’s church where my father was music director.  I sang all of the hymns, oratorios, etc.  I recited all of the creeds.  None of this was because I had some great calling, but rather because it was the thing to do.

Without reciting the details I have experienced numerous medical misadventures.  While there have been many such instances since, the most significant was a bout with throat cancer.  Following surgery, chemo, and radiation I adopted the following approach to life:

“I shall not treat each day as if it were my last, but rather if, at the end of the day, it turns out to have been my last, I would not change a thing.”

With this I have achieved an inner peace.

Returning to my religious experiences, as a young man I was fond of quoting Einstein.  When asked whether he believed in God, he waved his hand at the beautiful landscape outside his office window and replied “I can’t believe this all happened by accident.”  As I have gotten older and learned more about the universe (evolution, DNA, sub-atomic physics, stellar and galactic physics, etc.) I now admit that I can believe it all happened by accident.  Note “can believe”, not “do believe”.

Robert Niel Beatie – January 17, 2013